One of humanities greatest quests across the span of history has been the search for power; power over nature, power over events, and power over ourselves. The idea of reality creation, that you can create your own reality, feeds into this desire to control our fate, the unknown future, and seemingly unpredictable lives.
This idea is called many things depending on who is talking about it: faith, prayer, visualization, magic, spiritual science, attraction, belief, witchcraft or wishcraft, metaphysics, quantum physics and chanting, to name a few.
Looking to consciously create your reality can be like trying to maintain a firm grip on a freshly caught, slippery fish. If your grasp is too weak, the fish can wiggle away. If your grasp is too tight, the fish can violently shoot out from your hands like a catapulted object. Sometimes all you can do is alternate between weak and tight, or better yet, use a net!
Many people are looking for that golden net in which they can hold the object of their desire. My suggestion is to use what follows as a light source in your search for creating your own reality in the fog of life. Let go of the net for the time being, of trying to catch or hold some better reality that seems slippery or just out of reach.
Let’s address some of the myths and truths of reality creation, and some solutions and perspectives that may assist you in finding deeper peace and understanding of the reality creation game we all participate in.
1. Myth: Fear Vanishes
The Course in Miracles states that only love is real, but fear feels real when you are experiencing it! I would pay a million dollars to be free of fear. Many times people seek to create new things out of fear, to get rid of fear, or to manage their fear. They feel that if they have enough money, a nice body, a loving mate, or something else, life will be perfect, and fear will vanish. The truth is that as we grow and expand old fears vanish and new challenges are presented to us that may create some anxiety. No ideal reality creation keeps us safe, secure, and free from fear forever.
There is no everlasting panacea that will erase fear, but we can face it, and in facing it honestly, transmute it. It comes down to looking within at your beliefs. Many times we are told to ignore the negative, think positive, and ignore fear. If fear shows up, it has a message and in listening to that message we can learn about ourselves and further open up the way to create more good things in our lives. Be willing to tell yourself, “My real fear is…” If you skip this step you are not using your full power to understand yourself. Your fear will act like a monkey wrench in the machinery of manifesting your desires if you ignore it. Fear does not vanish in the dark – only when we shine some light on it by acknowledging it and liberating ourselves from its hold.
2. Myth: The Mind is All-Powerful
You will hear from many spiritual teachers that if you focus the unlimited power of your mind you can change your life. It’s a snap, they tell you! I think that is a part of the process, but the mind is not all-powerful. Mentally we can understand something, but reality creation is a synthesis of mind and heart, or mind and emotion. While people can conceptualize what they want, inner work may still need to be done to see if they are emotionally ready to have it. Emotional acceptance is required to allow thought to materialize. If you can tell yourself, “I am worthy and deserving of (what you want to create)” and you feel peaceful, you are on the right path. If fear or anxiety comes up, stop, and apply the “My real fear is…” technique from the preceding section to become more conscious of the belief.
We have levels to our being. When these levels – body, mind, emotions, and spirit – work together there is harmony and power. We live in a physical world. Action is essential. Affirmation, prayer and visualization set the stage, but you must walk on it. Just thinking something or visualizing does not make it happen. Action must be added to emotional acceptance. Your mind is powerful, but thinking or affirming something does not make it so without action.
3. Myth: You Can Control it all
What people like about The Secret is that it gives them a sense of control. We can, in fact, choose our fate and direct our lives, but you will never be able to consciously control it all. You cannot control all the players, scenery, and timing of events. Regardless of what experts say about creating your life, all you can really do is get clear, set an intention, take what actions seems to be appropriate, and then leave it up to the Universe to work out the details of manifesting your desire.
This takes the pressure off of you to make something happen at a specific time in a specific way. Do you really want to be responsible for all that work? What may help you more is to ask yourself if you are ready to have what you want? Is there space in your life for something new or different? Letting go of the idea of control and instead substituting clarity in its place, will allow all the events and players in your reality creation to hit their marks on time and bring you what you want.
4. Myth: Material Gratification Equals Fulfillment
After manifesting material things that add pleasure to your life, you can still yearn for fulfillment. There can be a vague dissatisfaction – no matter what you create.
Years ago, I became the legal guardian for my Stepfather. He had Parkinson’s disease and several other ailments. He lived in an assisted living facility, but I was responsible for all of his other affairs. To be honest, it felt like an overwhelming burden at times. I was there when he had dental work done, open heart surgery and numerous visits to other medical specialists. I visited him a few times a week, took him for walks, cut his toenails, shaved him, and made sure he had candy bars, pens, Jumble books and a good remote for his TV. It lasted a few years and then he passed away at age 83.
What I miss is the love of caring for another human being. I got to express a great deal of love; it filled me up. So many single people are looking for love and obsessing about themselves and how to get love. They look to create the ideal relationship. I found it very satisfying to give love instead of get love. What a surprise! Life is not always about getting yours! When I taught in Venezuela I had a similar experience. Most of the people living there have very little, but they are rich in love and warmth. I think many people that I see obsessed with The Secret would trade a million dollars to feel more loved.
Everything we look to create is desirable because we are looking to get something out of having it. Money can equal freedom or security or power; a relationship can represent support or warmth. There is an essence we are always looking for in our creations and that essence can be obtained in many ways – not just in an object. Then next time you want something, ask yourself “I want______because it will give me_________?” That will tell you what you are really looking for and what you need to feel fulfilled emotionally.